My thoughts create reality. My thoughts function and process in my overprotective brain. How can it make meaning and process information as well as it does, being that the area it depended on to communicate was invaded by a tumor? It experienced trauma while the mass was cut out, and it was heavily drugged. Yet, it is compelled to make sense of the world around me, even in its crippled state.
It’s having to function in what feels like a semi-permanent survival mode that interferes with my ability to trust my perceptions sometimes. I try to remain aware of this. I try to acknowledge a medical crisis when I am in a medical crisis. My coworkers and family stride through these times. They really are my champions.
The more things that I do, the more variety of things I can do, and (the hardest) the less resistance I have with myself. The healthier I become. The weaker the grip of the distortions.
I know that we all have resistance to transition that everyone needs to actively manage to achieve their maximum success.
I need to hold in-focus an increased awareness of my need to manage my resistance – aggressively, especially as I age.
My plan? The first step is going to be frequently asking myself if I am feeling this resistance.
The second step is asking myself what plan I can implement that will enable me to release it (or dismiss it due to time constraint or such.)
================
*** Note to self, I need to research techniques that I can use to release or dismiss the manifestation consistent with the resection of my mind that creeps in to interrupt my in-focus flow.
Initially, I think the technique should include tests of the biased or skewedness of my perception and if it can be tested in a measured way that doesn’t end up sending signals of struggle to my subconscious mind. I must take care to test my perception without sending it into a protective state. The goal is to use minimal dopamine as I move toward mental images and emotions are alignment in a solid way. A flow in a positive solid way toward a mindful awareness.
For some reason, I am thinking of the runner who runs farther the previous day than this particular day. He struggles even though the nights before he had the same quality of sleep and same types of meals. In this example, the only significant difference in his life is an increase in stress.
*************
What can be sources of resistance? Can I list all of them, regardless of whether I perceive them as relevant to me or not?
- My nonverbal communications sent through my body language, tone of voice, facial expression, or posture.
- My Sense-of-Self or Identity – How I see myself, what I think of myself, or how I feel about myself.
- My Values – Things that are such powerful motivators to me that they don’t require my conscious awareness to influence my choices and actions.
- My Strongly-Held Beliefs – As a literalist who lives in a world perceived in terms of metaphors. Right or wrong…good or bad…helpful can be crippling resistances.
- My Memories and Experiences
- My doing of the same thing as yesterday 90%/75%/70% of the time in what I think about, how many words I say, or how I feel.
- My Survival Needs – like seizure activity.
My self-fulfilling prophecies and self-reinforcing cycles of questioning myself with transparency and brutal honesty. The pay-off is going to be that I am going to relax into my perception of reality that is so correct enough for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment